If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children. ~David Brenner

You put a baby in a crib with an apple and a rabbit. If it eats the rabbit and plays with the apple, I'll buy you a new car. ~Harvey Diamond

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them. ~Samuel Butler, Note-Books, 1912

Dear Lord, I've been asked, nay commanded, to thank Thee for the Christmas turkey before us... a turkey which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird... a social being... capable of actual affection... nuzzling its young with almost human-like compassion. Anyway, it's dead and we're gonna eat it. Please give our respects to its family. ~Berke Breathed, Bloom County Babylon

Think of the fierce energy concentrated in an acorn! You bury it in the ground, and it explodes into an oak! Bury a sheep, and nothing happens but decay. ~George Bernard Shaw

Vegetarianism is harmless enough though it is apt to fill a man with wind and self-righteousness. ~Robert Hutchison, address to the British Medical Association, 1930

Heart attacks... God's revenge for eating his little animal friends. ~Author Unknown

Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning "lousy hunter." ~Andy Rooney

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight. ~Rita Rudner (<-- One of my favorites)

In the strict scientific sense we all feed on death - even vegetarians. ~Mr. Spock, Star Trek, "Wolf in the Fold"

I will not eat anything that walks, runs, skips, hops or crawls. God knows that I've crawled on occasion, and I'm glad that no one ate me. ~Alex Poulos

I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive or a politician. ~Marty Feldman (<-- Another really good one)

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. ~A. Whitney Brown


Discuss.